Let me start off by saying how great this show was. Two hours of Amish Mafia Madness.

I explained to a coworker the next day about how I watched this. I was sitting at the table with my computer with my eyes on the TV taking notes. In the commercial breaks, I was eating my dinner. Yes, this was a serious assignment that resulted in just over 2 pages of notes in MS Word. I also read that the show was going to be renewed for another season. I don’t know what I would do if it wasn’t. I decided to break this into sections of the main characters. I hope the people reading this actually watch or never plan to watch. I try to add a good amount of detail. Another coworker said to me she was surprised how much detail I remember from these shows I tell them about. I told her I’m not even paying that close of attention. Most of the time I’m on the internet and/or eating while I am watching these things. Maybe that is what makes me a good scientist. Technically, I am an analytical chemist which means I like to take things apart and analyze them. That’s probably what this whole website is about but I veered away from the important topic, Amish Mafia.

This special peppered in facts about Amish life like what they typically eat, how they prepare for the winter, and Amish activities. I think it was good because we all want to know or else we wouldn’t be watching this show. The funniest one was about people having sex with sheep. Lol. They showed a guy that someone may have caught with a sheep. So now everyone calls him “Steeeve”. I figured that’s the kind of thing that happened on farms. I don’t know why it is always sheep though.

 

Levi & Alvin

They introduced a new character, Caleb. Caleb is part of the Brethren which is related to Amish but they are allowed to drive cars and such. I looked it up but it seems there are different types of those as well. He was trying to join Levi’s group. When the camera crew was interviewing Caleb he was showing off the bullet holes in his truck and talking about how many women have been in the backseat. I’m sure we all know people who are like that. I immediately didn’t like him. I think Levi was not too impressed either especially when he found out that he only speaks enough Dutch to get by. The Amish use that as their language to speak with each other and Caleb said his family usually speaks English. Levi said since the guy has experience selling and training horses he could be useful so he gave him the task of getting a horse that was taken from an Amish man by an English man ( I think I have said before that the Amish call all non-Amish people English). Caleb goes to repo the horse at night, he was spotted, and he ran away. Can you believe it? All that talk about bullet holes and he ran away from this. When he goes to tell Levi, Levi is not happy. Caleb said I heard a noise and I got out of there. Levi says but you got the horse right? Nope he was too scared. So that meant that Levi had to go get the horse himself and he wouldn’t let the cameras go along. Even when they asked what he did, Levi wouldn’t say how.

Another new person is Crazy Dave. Levi picked him up from “Amish Rehab”. He’s a drunk and is going to work for Levi. Of course, Levi has this guy running his hut parties. This is a party Levi hosts to make money and give the youngins a place to party while still in the community. I like that he picks the drunk to do this. Dave is all about how he’s cured and he should be fine. But what happens when Alan comes to see him? Alan buys him a drink. Dave accepts after a few declines. Oops, I guess Amish Rehab didn’t work. Dave is on an all-night drinking spree going into the hut party. And magically, Dave disappears after the party with Levi’s money. Once Levi finds him, he yells, and says don’t do it again. The producer said to Dave why didn’t you say Alan gave you drinks? Dave storms out in anger. We know why he didn’t say anything. Because if Levi hears that Alan was making him do something he is not going to trust Dave and he better be worried if that happens.

They mentioned the Sarasota (Pinecraft), Florida area as a party/winter getaway for the Amish. It turns out that a man borrowed money from Levi to take care of his sick wife but he decided to take the money and go to Florida instead. So, Levi sent Alvin down there to find the guy, get the money back, and make him come back to take care of his wife. Isn’t that nice? See Levi is trying to help people. Alvin went around in English clothes to find people who know this guy. Eventually he found someone that knew the guy, Alvin goes to the house, and kicks down the door. Ten minutes later, Alvin comes out to say the guy has until that night to get on the bus back to PA. I remember thinking isn’t that a long ways away? From PA to FL? Mapquest said it is about 1085 miles. As he is driving away, Alvin passes a cop car (foreshadowing). At the end of the episode, Alvin calls Levi to say he was arrested in Florida and he may be there awhile. The ending scene was the mug shot.

 

Alan

Alan “The Black Amish Man” is steady stalking Levi. He blames him for him getting arrested and is convinced that Levi called the cops which is against the Amish way. I love that Alan is going around town meeting with his friends and paying them to keep an eye on Levi. His comment that I semi-agreed with was when he said Levi has all weak people working for him. That’s why he can go and get Dave drunk. The weird part was when Alan visited a black preacher he met while in jail. The preacher asked if he is doing ok and staying out of trouble. He can’t say yes. Levi calls a meeting with Alan at one of his safe houses. Alan confronts him about calling the police. Levi said no and that Alan will not be able to take him down. Alan leaves feeling smug. Levi called someone saying “we are going to shut down the black Amish man”. Good, I’m sick of him. Uh oh, Alan is going to court, he has no idea why, and he thinks it’s because Levi. It better be.

 

Jolin

Poor Jolin. He’s out in his hunting cabin in central PA all by himself not doing anything. But, just in time for the show, he gets a called that a woman is trying to divorce her husband and she needs help. Jolin to the rescue! He arranges to meet the girl somewhere. What do we see? A girl running away with a guy on horseback trying to get her, Jolin jumps out, and gets her to the car. Jolin said he has a network of safe houses that he would put her in and he will be told if anyone comes around looking for her. She said her husband was abusive and he wouldn’t let her leave him. Of course in a religious society, divorce or leaving your husband is unacceptable.

 

Merlin

Merlin is going crazy religious now that he has been shunned from his community. No one can work with him since he has been shunned so no money coming in for him. He needs to get people to unshun him and he is using his sister, Rosa, and former employee Wayne to campaign for people to vote for him. Wayne is breaking mailboxes of people who are not convinced and Rosa is baking pies to win people over. Rosa looks so evil and of course she hates what Levi did to her brother. Wayne is a little person and I’m fascinated that he is Amish and little. He is only helping Merlin so he can make money and so he can get Merlin to owe him. In the meantime, Merlin is at the beard cutting sentencing.  Merlin finally gets his hearing at the church. The Amish has church in people’s homes. That’s crazy. Merlin said if the shun is not lifted he’s going to take it out on the county. I guess we will never know how because he is unshunned.

 

Esther & John

John is in North Dakota hiding out because Merlin has been shunned and he’s not making any money. Esther (his sister) is visiting John in ND as a surprise. I can’t believe he is on TV saying all the stuff he has (TV, electricity, etc.) like no one will find out. He has several brothers that live there. Including a younger brother named Freeman that was banished from the community in 2008. He pulled a knife on his parents. Esther said he may be possessed by the devil. Esther wants John to come home to help her fight Levi. John said he won’t come back without someone else to help him so he suggests Freeman. John is taking Esther to see Freeman in the dark. Of course he’s just sitting there with a smile on his face like he’s crazy. If he didn’t look crazy how would we know he is crazy? Esther said he needs a cleansing which is what Amish people call an exorcism. Now I was all excited about this part. Exorcisms are so graphic. But not this one, it was so dark you couldn’t see anything. They had a bishop pray over the kid and candles everywhere. She is unsure that it worked. I don’t know how you would know if it worked or not. Later in the night, Esther heard a noise in the barn and is going out to see what it is? This is what crazy people do, go check out strange noises in the dark. It’s Freeman in the barn! Weird. I don’t understand how Freeman said nothing the whole episode. I’d want to see the conversation of telling him he needs a cleansing. They all go back to Lancaster and on Feb. 7 John is picked up by the police. Esther is not happy about potentially being left with Freeman.

The only bad thing about the episode was no mention of when season 2 starts. I need to know so I am prepared.

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